This post will be a confession.
Three of my best friends (you know who you are), PLUS my mother, have their Birthdays in mid-February. Despite all intentions, I just couldn't manage to fit in some time to stitch for all of them. I hate to say this, but I have only managed to complete a gift for one of them. As I hated the thought of not sending them anything, each of them should receive a gift on time. But I hate the fact that most of those gifts have been store-bought.
That being said, with the huge load of work I've had to accomplish since the beginning of the year, I simply don't see how I could have done it. Last Sunday was the first day since 2007 began that I managed to sit at the sewing machine, and believe me, I was missing it to the point of obsession. (I have to confess, too, that the time I spent on the sewing machine on Sunday was spent on starting a dress for me... I just couldn't help myself any longer). My first two finishes of the year are gifts (an exchange gift, and a birthday gift).
I am slowly, and painfully, realizing that I just can't do it. I can't keep up! How do you friends manage?
I have reached a crucial part in my thesis, and as a result have been struggling to find some time for... everything else (except for Seb!). I certainly don't complain, mind you - I have finally reached the part where my work falls into place, where it makes sense and feels significant. I am thrilled! I am truly at a happy time in my life, in every respect. My one nagging regret right now is this: I feel I haven't been an adequate friend.
Well. I just wanted to let those 3 friends know that I love each of them - and that my sending two of them a store-bought gift doesn't mean anything else.
Maybe I should just give up the idea of hand-making birthday gifts this year, and concentrate on AOKs (Acts Of Kindness) instead. What are your thoughts?
Three of my best friends (you know who you are), PLUS my mother, have their Birthdays in mid-February. Despite all intentions, I just couldn't manage to fit in some time to stitch for all of them. I hate to say this, but I have only managed to complete a gift for one of them. As I hated the thought of not sending them anything, each of them should receive a gift on time. But I hate the fact that most of those gifts have been store-bought.
That being said, with the huge load of work I've had to accomplish since the beginning of the year, I simply don't see how I could have done it. Last Sunday was the first day since 2007 began that I managed to sit at the sewing machine, and believe me, I was missing it to the point of obsession. (I have to confess, too, that the time I spent on the sewing machine on Sunday was spent on starting a dress for me... I just couldn't help myself any longer). My first two finishes of the year are gifts (an exchange gift, and a birthday gift).
I am slowly, and painfully, realizing that I just can't do it. I can't keep up! How do you friends manage?
I have reached a crucial part in my thesis, and as a result have been struggling to find some time for... everything else (except for Seb!). I certainly don't complain, mind you - I have finally reached the part where my work falls into place, where it makes sense and feels significant. I am thrilled! I am truly at a happy time in my life, in every respect. My one nagging regret right now is this: I feel I haven't been an adequate friend.
Well. I just wanted to let those 3 friends know that I love each of them - and that my sending two of them a store-bought gift doesn't mean anything else.
Maybe I should just give up the idea of hand-making birthday gifts this year, and concentrate on AOKs (Acts Of Kindness) instead. What are your thoughts?
Hope the week is sweet to you! 
25 comments:
I know just how you feel! I always have a hard time completing gifts in a timely manner... this year I have decided to work ahead on NEXT year's birthday gifts. We'll see how that goes :)
Isabelle, don't give it another thought! Some of us have loads more stitching time than others, so don't feel badly for not having the time to stitch gifts. Your work/home life is much more important and of course we, as friends, won't think any less of you. Now stop worrying and go stitch something just for you! {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
My dear Isabelle,
Friendship is not measured in the gifts we send (homemade or store bought) but in the warmth and compassion we share with one another. Your blogs are a gift in themselves as are the wonderful comments you leave on other blogs.
Everyone will understand that 2007 is a year in which it is best for you to forget about the pressure of home-made birthday gifts.
Remember, it's the journey that's important not the destination. Enjoy each and every stitching journey you take.
{{{hugs}}}
Margaret
Psst...relax my friend :) You know I love you for who you are :)
No worries at all :)
KarenV is right on :)
(((((((((much love and hugs)))))))
I echo everyone's sentiments - your friendship is enough of a gift in itself, and you really need to enjoy this time for 'you' while the momentum is in full swing for you. The best gifts of friendship are often those of words ... your comments always cheer me up and comfort me when I feel blue - physical gifts are not required beyond that, so take that pressure off your shoulders, sweetie! I have to admit, though, I've been going through similar thoughts this month too ;) {{hugs}}
I found your blog some time ago and I love reading it. I do have to say this confessional post touched on something that's been on my mind - with hand made gifts and gifts in general. I have a lot of gifting dates in February and March so I feel the pressure of $$ for gifts and now that I'm crafting making gifts.
I personally like getting and giving more random gifts instead of the obligatory ones. It's just me so that's what I tend to do... I think the best thing for them to know is that you care and they are special. Everything else is icing on the cake - no pun intended.
Jamie
Didn't you join the birthday/Christmas blog that Becky set up for those of us with this exact same problem? It is a help, though the urge to stitch something for everyone remains strong. ;)
If you are determined to continue making gifts for people in addition to the incredible workload you already have, I suspect most people would prefer a RAK. Then it has a chance to stand out all on its own. :)
Now, stop beating yourself up!! LOL!
Aw, Isabelle! Please don't fret. I am pretty sure I can figure out who your three dear February friends are, as I have been stitching away too :-) But, they are some of the sweeeeeetest people you will ever meet and will totally understand! It is hard for you with being in school and pursuing your doctorate. We admire you for that, so keep up the good work! When you get that, we will all be dancing in the streets!
I really can't say much more than what all these other wonderful ladies have said! Concentrate on your home life and your studies and try not to take on too much else. Friends who are true friends are there for you no matter what.
I think everyones thoughts are the same and to be honest I don't know how you even have the time to make anything and blog and keep up with emails with doing your work/studying! You do so well and we all enjoy your blog as you are such a nice person :-)
Dear Isabelle, since my birthday is not in February, I believe I can commment freely and objectively on your "confession". I believe that a true friend takes as good care of herself as well as she would for her friends ;-) And that means that if you can't make it, you can't make it, staying healthy and alive is a predominant and basic value in life. I am sure you would say the same for your friends. Now, if it bothers you that you can't make a handmade gift and you would REALLY REALLY like to make something for them, think of it that the birthday lasts all year long and that you can send it later as well ;-) And they don't have to be major gifts either. A small quick finish but matching the person's taste might surely elicit the joy you would get from a bigger one. Size does not matter, it's the love inside that counts, and therefore it does not matter if it's handmade or bought, as long as it is given with your heart it's received with the heart as well. And if the simple thought of making the gifts is the one thing that causes you stress because of your workload, then don't. Making things should be fun, not stressful. That said, I admire too, as other commenters said, the fact that you combine all this and find the time to share your creations with us ;-). Ann.
Oh Isabelle, please don't worry so much!!! I do know how you feel though. I've been there myself. Last week I decided enough was enough (well, my better half decided it for me, really). I spent so much time stitching for others, planning my stitching, obsessing over finishing gifts on time, and all the while not enjoying myself at all! Until I decided not to stitch any more gifts (except the Birthday/Christmas club and some PIFs) and actually stick to this decision. Since doing that, I am actually enjoying my stitching again! Everybody, absolutely everybody, understands. You're your own worst enemy in this, and it is SO unnecessary. Just go back to stitching and sewing and enjoy yourself, your thesis, your work and Seb!
Oh honey, you are so sweet! I'm sure everyone understands, there are just not enough hours of the day! {{{hugs}}}
Isabelle, you are so sweet to worry. You know that is the sign of a true friend and in the end that will be more special than any gift! Good luck with your thesis!
I don't manage it. I still have your birthday gift from LAST YEAR sitting here, unfinished. All it requires is the love of my sewing machine and I can't seem to get around to that.
I echo everyone else's sentiment here. Your friends will completely understand and I am sure they won't mind receiving your gifts late.
Dearest friend across the Big Wide Ocean: EVery time you're tempted to condemn yourself for what you haven't done, ask where that condemnation originates. We have an Enemy, you know. He knows your buttons (no sewing pun intended, believe it or not). Just think, "Which would I rather have? A gift that stressed someone out or a happy E-card telling me how special I am to her?" Or this question, "ARe handmade gifts the best stewardship of time God has given me at this time?" YOu have the gift of intelligence and so many others. You sound so happy and fulfilled in your thesis work right how that I would take that as a sign that you are using this gift at the right time. Maybe you didnt' want a spiritual answer, but it sounds like your troubles are rooted in the heart, not the schedule. We all love you and want to see you flourish. Sounds like sewing the dress is the most revitalizing hobby for you right now. Besides, I have YOUR gift still very much unfinished. Maybe I drage it out as a constant reminder of you? That's a good thing!
I agree with everything that has been said, especially when Zoanna asked which you would rather have. Knowing that a labor of love has turned into a stressful commitment for you would not make me happy. Create things when the spirit moves you, the time is available and the creation of it brings you joy, not just when a calendar indicates. Besides, I find RAKs to be much more enjoyable. Who doesn't love an unexpected package to brighten their day? :)
Besides, you are way too hard on yourself. I keep telling you, your friendship is more than enough! *hug*
I agree with what the others have said. If they knew that you had stressed so much over trying to get it done their first thought would be of you, and how they would not wish that on you. A true friend will value your friendship, and not put an emphasis on if a present is handmade or not, or even if they get a present, your friendship is the present. Do what you can and what you're are comfortable with and don't worry about the other. When you find a perfect project for one of them, you can do it then and give it as a "just because" surprise.
Sue
Dearest Isabelle {{{{hugs}}}} I know who those three friends are because I'm trying to fit in gifts myself and stuggling with time. And I have a LOT less to do than you do! I know none of them (or us) would expect you to send gifts or be at all upset if a gift was late or not hand made. You need to get your work and study done and spend time with Seb and Violette and your family. Then you need to spend relaxation time for yourself. Then if you have time over you can worry about gifts :) AOKs are just as nice as birthday gifts - if not nicer. And they can be done whenever you have time without causing stress to yourself :)
Isabelle, you are so sweet. Just remember that friendship comes from the heart and not from the gifts that you gave. I think you are stressed out...take time to relax and things will work out for the better, am sure of it.
Sweet Isabelle, each one of us is so finite and are unable to do all that is in our hearts. Take joy in what you can accomplish! I think most of us are delighted in simply being remembered, whether it's a small gift, card, or even an e-card!
Sweetie, you have to know that your friends and mother know how hard you are working and how little time you have to create hand-made items. You are a more than adequate friend. And for the time being you might allow yourself to send things/make things when you are able, but not feel pressured to do it on a deadline. And small thoughtful gift be it store-bought or hand-made, is much appreciated. Big hugs!
Ooooh I feel quite teary after reading the previous words of wisdom, aren't stitchers lovely people? A friend once gave me the following advice when I was stressed with work and study she said 'be kind to yourself' :)
Isbelle, please go easy on yourself! Women tend to think they need to do it all and you know, we just can't. If we push it, we lose ourselves in the process! Since I have been following your blog I have only seen that you are a very kind and sweet person, and that's all you need to do to be a good friend! Don't worry about all the other stuff!
coucou ma Belle, je crois que tu stresses de trop!! si ce sont des Amies, elles comprendront!!!
grosses biiizzzz
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